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When I was younger, my mom always told me I should date (and eventually marry) "within the race."When I invited my first serious boyfriend — who was white — to the house to meet my parents, my mother actually asked him if his older brother was "as pink" as he was, referring to his skin color. A few years later, when I was in college, she told me she had given up on the idea of me marrying a black doctor and was beginning to look forward to the day when she could meet her "zebra-baby" grandkids.I'm Hispanic and dated an Italian girl from college a few years ago. Her mom was sweet and I always felt like she had my back and made an effort to get to know me, but my girlfriend's dad definitely gave off the "you're not good enough for my daughter" vibe.I recall much argument that night among us four travelers about what my friend should have done or what each of us would have done, but I never blamed him.Each generation can only try to make fewer mistakes than the last. I never thought I had a type, but I had also never dated anyone who wasn't white before I met my current girlfriend.It was only after this that I saw him as a doctor who watched Fox News a lot and not as the cool, hip dad he came off as initially.I can't say I'm sure it was just a race thing.Note from Chase: Every now and then I get asked about Asian guys and white girls.I understand why some guys ask this; there is a very human tendency we all have to say, "Well, that may work for you, but it's only because you're white / black / Asian / tall / muscular / super smart / naturally talented / some other thing outside of one's power to change." And no matter how much you tell people that that's just an excuse, many of them cling staunchly to this.
And there was a comfort and an instant ease that I'd never experienced before.
Actually, I stopped by their house before our second date and he thought I was just her friend and we had a blast, chatting and laughing and watching sports while she got ready.
But the next time I stopped by to pick her up, after she had told him we were seeing each other, I felt the chill from him.
Now we were on a first date because I am a crazy narcissist.
I asked him careful questions about his years in the service and his home country.
One time I memorized a whole Hebrew pop song just to impress this Israeli guy," he said to me with eyes the size of my grandma's matzoh balls.