Divorced catholic and dating
I understood right from the beginning of my new life as a single person that, in order to be happy in a new relationship, I would have to be happy just being me and being single. At the same time, I was unaware of what makes a healthy marriage and very much in denial about our problems.My attitude now is, “If it happens, it happens.” In the meantime, please accept that I am fine as a single person. It means that I love you and I love the institution of marriage. My marital problems went a lot deeper than most, but every marriage needs constant care.Non-divorced Catholics need to be careful of assumptions, to discard any trace of judgment toward the divorced.Since I have “been there, done that” when it comes to being judgmental, I can address this issue personally.I had some initial worries about my spiritual status when I began the process, but God quickly reassured and comforted me as I went through and beyond my divorce.The psychological counseling and spiritual direction I received during my divorce made me a healthier person than I ever was before.It is time for all of us in the Church to stop judging the divorced.This may seem like a rationalization, but Jesus’ statement in Matthew 19:6 (“Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate”) does not apply to all marriages.
I really am happy as a single person, and not at all lonely or bitter about the past because I choose to remain single.
I have worked through the deep problems caused by my dysfunctional childhood.
I have faced and forgiven everyone who helped shape my early years in negative ways. Yes, divorce was a painful passage to go through, but I am a better person today because of it.
Perhaps we divorced Catholics are overly sensitive, but certain statements and inquiries are like rubbing salt into a very sore wound.
I have been asked, “Did you try counseling or Retrouvaille? ” is another gem, to which I answer that forgiveness is not the same as a pardon.
Many of us, looking back, realize that God was simply not a part of our decision to marry. My intended was heading to a war zone for a year, and friends and family counseled me to wait. We have all attended enough weddings to recall what the priest or deacon always asks a couple at the beginning of the marriage ceremony: “Do you come here freely and without reservation?