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Posted by / 11-Aug-2019 21:31

Kids ex husbands dating

(It's a small town, so we kind of knew each other, but not really.) I was extra, extra lucky because my boyfriend had a (mostly) good relationship with her.This is not always the case, but that's another blog post.

Between divorce and deciding to date, a highly important personal development needs to occur, what psychologists call "separation and individuation".I scoured the Internet for advice about dating people with kids. I got the same advice from multiple people: "Be yourself." OK, what next? We were on and off, and it wasn't the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.The only books I could find were about step-parenting. Considering the divorce rate in this country, I thought finding the advice would be easy. *crickets* My relationship with this man continued for... But I did learn a LOT about the kiddos and how to deal with them.Don't Be Their Friend Just as with any old parent-child relationship, it's a bad idea to try to be "friends" with your significant other's child.It's easy to want to impress them and be that cool, new person in their life, but they need the structure, seriousness, and guidance that only adults can provide. (Even when it totally doesn't feel like it.) Lay the Smack Down Early My boyfriend was a supreme joker, so it came naturally that his child was, too. I was afraid of p*ssing off my boyfriend, but he was fine with it. The boy was a little pins-and-needles with me for a few hours afterward, but he soon got over it and life went back to normal. Don't try this move too soon, but don't wait too long, either. It's one thing to have your boyfriend pee with the door open, but it's another thing when you're sitting on the couch and realize you can hear his kid peeing down the hall.

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I recommend waiting at least 3 months before the introduction.